Before her first birthday, I knew each day I had with Little Bit was truly a gift from God. I prayed that the time wouldn’t come that I had to let her go, but I also knew what the vet had told me. So I also prayed that God would give me the strength I needed to make the decision to let her go when I had to.
She had been the runt of a litter of 8 English Setters born on Christmas Day, 2005. She was half the size of the other pups at birth and as her brothers and sisters grew strong, she did not. An abscess on the inside of her groin required vet treatment and antibiotics before her eyes were opened. She was all but dead when faith, Pedialite and Karo syrup brought her back at 12 days old. When I took her in to be spayed, they discovered she had kidney deficiencies and the vet told me she wouldn’t live a long life.
She didn’t live a long life, but she lived a full life! She was the most lively dog I’ve ever owned. She embraced life, as if she, too, knew she was only here for a short time. She bounced like a jumping bean; everything she did, she did with all she had! She never got to be a big dog, but at 35 pounds, she was so far from the 4 ounces she’d started out at. She had beautiful feathering in spite of her ill health. She’d been on Science Diet KD all her life and could not have any special treats outside of an occasional prescription treat. She was whiter than snow with one little patch of orange on her ear, just like Charlie, her father. She had the most affectionate, loving eyes, almost hazel in color.
She didn’t come out of her doghouse on November 26th when I went to feed her. This was so out of character for her, I knew something was wrong. She couldn’t stand on her own when I pulled her out of the doghouse. I called the vet, bundled her in the blanket and took her in for her last visit.
She was as still and lifeless on her last trip to the vet as she had been on her first. Dr. Karen looked her over, said little and drew some blood. The test results were conclusive: she was in complete kidney failure and she was suffering. I trust Dr. Sherman (I call her Dr. Karen) completely and rely on her to tell me what’s best for my animals, not what’s best for me. I said, "It’s time?" and she said "Yes."
I stayed with her as Dr. Karen gave her the injection that would end her suffering. I reassured her that I loved her and that she had brought so much to my life. God had given me the gift of her love and friendship for almost 4 years. He had given me the strength to let go when I had to; I knew he would give me the strength to heal from the unbearable hurt I was feeling. When her heart had stopped, Dr. Karen and her assistant left me with her frail, lifeless body for closure.
I had her body cremated. Her ashes were returned to me in a tiny little wooden box. I have put them away in a safe place and will bury with her mother, Lace, when the time comes. Lace is also on borrowed time as she is struggling with a growth that is interfering with her respiratory functions. Lace is on daily medications, including steroids to minimize the impact and discomfort of her malady. I know the time to let her go is coming too soon. Her cough is more frequent, and recently, her appetite has declined. But, she also has good days where she romps and doodles. When the time comes, I will rely on God to give me the strength to do what has to be done and Dr. Karen to tell me when we’re there.
Little Bit was such a blessing to me in her short life. She was born when my son was in his first year of college and helped me emotionally when he left college and moved to Texas. She was so special - all of my animals are, but she was really special. In the sympathy card Dr. Karen sent, she said that Little Bit had lived far longer than she’d ever expected. She said it was amazing how animals and people could survive with love.
